The #ManFlu Monologues

Good morning fine readers I hope this January day finds you in good health and spirits. Today may end up being a seminal day in the history of this blog as there is a definite chance this may be the last blog ever. I know what you are thinking, “What in the hell happened? Is Big Brother trying to shut you down? Is it those fucking Russians again? Have you lost your writing spirit?” No folks, something even more diabolical has taken place, I woke up this morning with what could very well be a terminal case of the #ManFlu. (Insert gasp of horror here.)

Believe me, I am fighting the good fight and refuse to just lay down and let nature just take me to the grave. I know you are wondering how bad things are over here so let me recount a conversation betwen myself and the lovely and talented Rachel this morning.

Rachel – Sweetie, you should just stay home from work today, you barely slept and you sound and look like shit.

Me- How kind. It’s really bad this morning babe, this could be Bulimia.

Rachel- Im gonna go ahead and say no to Bulimia.

Me- I also think it cold be Plantar Fasciitis.

Rachel- Well dear, that is a freaking foot injury so I’m thinking that is not why you have sinus issues and a cold.

Me- I can feel death lurking around the corner, I am so weak. If you leave for work and I am all alone what will I do?

Rachel- Those dishes and laundry aren’t going to do themselves. You have the #ManFlu Craig, stay home and get some rest and I assure you that you will not die.

As you can see my condition has garnered very little sympathy around this house even as I sit waiting for the gentle kiss of death by Sinusitis. I am hoping that I will be able to fight off this dreaded affliction and if I can ask one favor may you all please take a moment today to #PrayForRachel.

Have a great day folks and please comment and share.


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